things are changing.... and i dont know where im going

not to sure what this blog is about yet. but im just gonna rant about whats been in my head lately. i feel all my plans for my near future have changed. and im not sure yet if its for the worst or not. i get to do a life long dream of mine either way it would have went. but, its not what i planned. and no matter what i do, no matter what i choose, someone is going to be hurt. but the thing is, as i have learned and stated many times, you gonna have to be in tune with your star player, and thats me. i need to worry about whats right for me. what can make matt the happiest. what does matt want to do. i know what im going to do, and i know whos gonna be hurt already, but thats something they are going to have to deal with. its not my fault how the cards have fallen, it may seem as though i have done this all on purpose, but i havent. i need to worry about whats best for matt as i get out of the army. i need to take care of me and make sure im riight before i try to take care of anyone else. so thats what ill do. some may not like what im gonna do, some may. but heres the thing, im doing what im gonna be doing for you, or you, or even you. im doing it for me. im not trying to make you happy. im trying to make me hapy. many will read this and be upset, but realize first before you judge me. if im not 100% into something, it will fail. and i just getting out of the army, am not anywhere near 100%. i knwo what im gonna do, and like it or not, its whats gonna happen. now as for you, you are still in my eyes, the best thing to walk gods green earth. you are all i could ever ask for. all i could ever want. you make me happier than ive ever been. and you know you do. Just to see you smile, makes my day. and knowing i put that smile there fills my heart with joy. there will be a day for us, and you make not like what im gonna say here, but i hope its sooner rather than later. its not right now, but it will be someday. we'll have our fun inbetween, and whatnot, but no day will be greater than the day i am yours and you are mine. no day. big things are gonna be happening soon, feelings will be hurt, and i know youll be pissed. but its not about you, its about me right now. but i gotta do whats right for me first. i cant wait to come down and see my family again, and my brother most importantly. but i want yall to knowill be shocking a few in the nexts coming weeks. but, its whats best! see you soon, and remember, SMILE! YOUR BEAUTIFUL!